Hollow Caricatures of Masculinity and Femininity

There’s a bald guy online right now injecting steroids into his nutsack because another Instagram alpha male told him to. He’s standing in front of a brick wall talking about how men need to stop being pussies. He’s telling his followers how to be a real man. He’s explaining eye contact. He’s explaining the science of dominance. He’s explaining why women crave strength. He’s selling a course.

There’s a woman online right now talking to her "ladies" about femininity. She’s explaining how to be soft. How to be nurturing. How to be in your “feminine energy”. She’s telling them how men need to feel respected before they can love. She’s also selling a course.

Both are idiots.

Worse than idiots. They’re frauds. You can see it in their eyes. The guy doesn’t actually know anything about women, only hookers. The woman doesn’t really believe in submission. They are lost, and they have found a way to monetize it. The people following them are lost too, and they think that if they just follow these steps, just copy the script, just nail the act, they will become what they are pretending to be.

It’s all a costume for them. A Halloween store version of what masculinity and femininity are supposed to look like. Real men do this. Real women do that. Just one big game of dress-up. They strip people down in the process. Masculinity is now just "don’t text first" and "lift weights." Femininity is "cook for him" and "be agreeable." A 90iq level understanding of human nature sold as the ultimate truth.

Real people don’t fit into neat categories. Every man has moments of doubt, of softness, of tenderness. Every woman has moments of certainty, of decisiveness, of power. The people who get this and who embrace the mix move through the world authentically. The ones who cling to some rigid cartoon version of themselves walk around like malfunctioning robots, checking their programming every few seconds to make sure they’re still doing it right.

What’s more pathetic? These influencers or the people following them? I’m not sure. The guy telling you how to be a high-value man is renting Airbnbs to film in. The woman teaching femininity has never actually had a man love her. Everyone’s in on the joke except the people buying in.

Remember this one thing, if you have to remind yourself to be masculine, you’re not masculine. If you have to remind yourself to be feminine, you’re not feminine. If you have to remind yourself to be anything, you aren’t it. Real men, real women, real anything, don’t have to sit around convincing themselves about what they are. They just are. They are complex human beings experiencing the full range of human emotion. Authentic expression doesn't require scripts or constant self-monitoring.

That’s the problem with this whole grift. It turns people into liars. Not even good liars, just desperate ones. The kind who start believing their own bullshit. The kind who will say whatever they need to say to hold the illusion together. The moment you need a script to interact with the world, you’ve already made a mockery of yourself. You aren’t connecting with anyone. You aren’t even connecting with yourself.

The most ironic part is that the advice meant for men should be followed by women. The advice meant for women should be followed by men. You know why? Because the world works in reverse. It always has. Everything they tell you to chase is exactly what is not meant for you. Everything they tell you is strength is usually weakness in disguise. The moment you start desperately grasping at an identity, you repel the very thing you’re after.

At the far ends of the spectrum, the rules collapse. No time for masculinity podcasts when you’re not concerned about what others think. No need for a feminine script when you aren’t playing a role. You want to be a man? You want to be a woman? Take off the costume. Stop pretending.

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